Wish, If Only & Regret

B2 Wish, If Only & Regret 😮‍💨

Hope is for things that might happen. Wish is for things that won’t — or didn’t — or can’t. “I hope it rains” = maybe it will. “I wish it would rain” = it probably won’t, and I’m annoyed about it.

This page is about expressing regret, longing, and “the world isn’t the way I want it” — with the tense backshift rules that make Mandarin speakers want to throw their textbook into the 长江.

TL;DR

Wish / if only = unreal situations → tense goes backward. Present wish → wish + past simple (I wish I were taller). Past wish → wish + past perfect (I wish I had studied). Annoying habit → wish + would (I wish you would stop). Regret + -ing = you did it and feel bad. Regret + to-infinitive = you’re sorry about what you’re about to say/do. Mandarin 希望 doesn’t backshift — English wish always does.

Before this, know:

Past SimpleConditionals (Second + Third)Mixed Conditionals

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Wish vs. hope: not the same word

Word	Reality check	Example	Vibe
hope	Might happen ✅	I hope I pass the exam	Optimistic
wish	Won’t / didn’t / can’t ❌	I wish I had passed the exam	Regretful

I hope she calls me back.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ Maybe she will. Still possible.

I wish she would call me back.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ She probably won’t. I’m frustrated.

Hope = present/future possible. Wish = counterfactual.

If the thing you’re talking about isn’t true and can’t be changed (or you’re complaining it won’t change), you’re in wish territory — not hope.

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🇨🇳Mandarin Trap: Wish & Regret

希望 (xīwàng) — no tense gymnastics required

Mandarin uses 希望 for both hope AND wish, without changing the verb tense:

Mandarin	Pinyin	English
我希望明天会下雨	Wǒ xīwàng míngtiān huì xiàyǔ	I hope it will rain tomorrow
我希望我更高	Wǒ xīwàng wǒ gèng gāo	I wish I were taller
我希望我学了中文	Wǒ xīwàng wǒ xuéle Zhōngwén	I wish I had learned Chinese

Same verb. 希望. No backshift. Time words (明天, 了) handle timing if needed.

English wish forces a tense shift backward:

Reality	English wish	Tense used
I’m NOT tall (now)	I wish I were taller	past simple for PRESENT
I DIDN’T study (past)	I wish I had studied	past perfect for PAST

This is the same backshift as second/third conditionals — but Mandarin speakers often translate 希望 literally:

• ❌ “I wish I am taller” (直译 希望)
• ❌ “I wish I study harder” (no backshift)
• ❌ “I wish I will come” (wish ≠ future hope)

The subjunctive “were”: English adds insult to injury with I wish I were (not “was”) for hypothetical present. Mandarin doesn’t have this. 如果我是你 → “If I were you” uses were for all persons in formal/unreal contexts.

The fix: When you feel 希望 coming, ask: Is this about reality (hope) or unreality (wish)? If unreality → backshift the tense one step into the past.

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Pattern 1: Wish + past simple → present regret

You want the present to be different. It’s not. Too bad.

Present wish (unreal now)

Subject + wish + subject + past simple (V2)

I wish I spoke better English.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ I don’t speak better English. I want to. I can’t snap my fingers and fix it.

我希望我英语说得更好。 (Wǒ xīwàng wǒ Yīngyǔ shuō de gèng hǎo.)

She wishes she lived closer to the office.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ She doesn’t live close. Reality ≠ wish.

I wish I didn’t have to work tomorrow.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ I do have to work. Present fact I dislike.

The “were” subjunctive

For be in unreal present, formal English uses were for all subjects:

I wish I were on vacation right now.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

He wishes he were taller.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

Form	Register	Acceptable?
I wish I were	Formal, exams, writing	✅ Always correct
I wish I was	Casual conversation	✅ Common, especially spoken
I wish I am	—	❌ Never

Were vs. was

In exams and formal writing → were. Talking to friends → was is fine. Both mark “unreal.” Neither use present tense.

Common mistakes

I wish I am taller.

I wish I were taller.

Present unreal → past simple: were/was, never am.

I wish I can speak French.

I wish I could speak French.

Can → could (past form) for present ability wish. Same backshift rule.

I wish I have more money.

I wish I had more money.

Have → had. You're wishing about now, but the verb goes one step back.

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Pattern 2: Wish + past perfect → past regret

You want the past to be different. It isn’t. Can’t time-travel.

Past wish (unreal past)

Subject + wish + subject + had + past participle (V3)

I wish I had studied harder in college.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ I didn’t study hard. Past is sealed.

我希望我大学时更努力学习了。 (Wǒ xīwàng wǒ dàxué shí gèng nǔlì xuéxí le.)

She wishes she hadn’t said that.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ She said it. Regret. Too late.

We wish we had booked the tickets earlier.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ We didn’t book early. Consequences now.

Wish vs. third conditional

These are basically the same grammar:

I wish I had studied harder. If I had studied harder, I would have passed.

Wish = emotional regret. Conditional = logical if-then. Same tense machinery.

I wish I studied harder in college.

I wish I had studied harder in college.

Past regret → past perfect (had + V3), not past simple. Past simple wish = present regret.

I wish I would have studied harder.

I wish I had studied harder.

Don't use would have after wish for past regret. Use had + V3.

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Pattern 3: Wish + would → annoying habits & future complaints

When you want someone else (or the world) to change behavior:

Wish + would (change/complaint)

Subject + wish + subject + would + base verb

I wish you would stop leaving your shoes in the hallway.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ You keep doing it. I’m annoyed. Please change.

我希望你别再把鞋放在走廊了。 (Wǒ xīwàng nǐ bié zài bǎ xié fàng zài zǒuláng le.)

I wish it would rain.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ It won’t rain (probably). I want it to.

She wishes her neighbor would turn down the music.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ The neighbor won’t. Ongoing annoyance.

Don’t wish + would for yourself

❌ I wish I would be taller. (You can’t will yourself taller) ✅ I wish I were taller. (state) ✅ I wish I would exercise more. (only if you’re complaining about your own lack of willpower — and even this is borderline)

Would after wish works best for other people’s behavior or external things you can’t control.

I wish it will stop raining.

I wish it would stop raining.

Wish about future/change → would, not will. Will = hope territory.

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If only — wish’s dramatic sibling

If only = wish, but louder. More emotional. More Shakespeare at 2am.

If only (= stronger wish)

If only + subject + past simple / past perfect / would

Same tense rules as wish. Just more drama.

Wish vs. If only

Wish — everyday regret

I wish I were on vacation.

→ Mild regret. Tuesday energy.

If only — dramatic regret

If only I were on vacation!

→ Strong longing. Main character energy. Exclamation mark required.

If only I had listened to my parents!

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ Past regret, maximum volume.

If only she would call!

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

→ Present frustration, peak annoyance.

要是…就好了！(Yàoshi… jiù hǎo le!) — Mandarin’s closest equivalent. “If only… then good!”

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Regret + -ing vs. regret + to-infinitive

Regret has two faces:

Two types of regret

Regret + -ing — past action (you did it)

I regret telling him the secret.

→ I told him. Bad idea. I feel bad about the past action.

我后悔告诉他那个秘密。 (Wǒ hòuhuǐ gàosù tā nàge mìmì.)

Regret + to-infinitive — present/formal announcement

I regret to inform you that your application was rejected.

→ I’m about to say something unpleasant. Formal. The regret is about this moment of telling.

我很遗憾地通知您… (Wǒ hěn yíhàn de tōngzhī nín…) (商务/正式用语)

Regret + -ing examples (looking back)

I regret buying this phone — it breaks every week.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

She regrets not studying abroad when she had the chance.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

We regret leaving the party so early.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

Regret + to-infinitive examples (formal present)

We regret to announce that the concert has been cancelled.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

I regret to say that I cannot attend your wedding.

Article Noun Verb Adjective Preposition

These are set phrases in formal English — emails, announcements, bad news delivery.

Quick test

Did the bad thing already happen? → regret + -ing Are you about to deliver bad news? → regret + to-infinitive

I regret to buy this phone.

I regret buying this phone.

The purchase already happened → regret + -ing. Regret to buy would mean you're sorry you're about to buy it (weird).

I regret informing you that you failed.

I regret to inform you that you failed.

Formal bad news delivery → regret to + infinitive.

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The full wish/regret decision tree

What do you want to express?
│
├─ Present situation is wrong
│   └─ wish + PAST SIMPLE (I wish I were/had/could...)
│
├─ Past situation is wrong
│   └─ wish + PAST PERFECT (I wish I had...)
│
├─ Someone/something won't change (annoying)
│   └─ wish + WOULD (I wish you would stop...)
│
├─ Past action you did — feel bad
│   └─ regret + -ING (I regret saying...)
│
└─ About to deliver bad news formally
    └─ regret + TO-INFINITIVE (I regret to inform...)

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Wish in fixed expressions

Some wish phrases are set chunks:

Expression	Meaning	Example
Wish me luck	祝我好运	I’m about to try something
I couldn’t wish for more	已经很完美了	Everything is perfect
Don’t you wish!	想得美！	Sarcastic rejection
You wish!	做梦吧你	“As if that would happen”
Best wishes	最美好的祝愿	Greeting card classic

These don’t follow the backshift rules — they’re idioms. Learn as wholes.

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Practice: pick the pattern

1. I’m not fluent in English and I want to be. → I wish I were fluent in English. (present → past simple)

2. I didn’t take the job offer and now I regret it. → I wish I had taken the job offer. (past → past perfect)

3. My roommate plays loud music every night. → I wish he would turn down the music. (complaint → would)

4. I told everyone her secret and I feel terrible. → I regret telling everyone her secret. (past action → -ing)

5. (Formal email) We must cancel the event. → We regret to inform you that the event has been cancelled. (formal → to-inf)

If only I would have known!

If only I had known!

Past regret → had + V3, not would have.

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Memory tricks

⏪ The Backshift Rule

Wish always rewinds time by one gear:

• Present problem → past simple (I wish I had…)
• Past problem → past perfect (I wish I had done…)
• Future/change complaint → would

🎭 Hope = Maybe. Wish = Nope.

Hope = still possible (🤞) Wish = not happening (😮‍💨) If you wouldn’t bet money on it, it’s probably wish.

📢 If Only = Wish + Megaphone

Same grammar. Add drama. Exclamation mark. Optional tears.

😤 Would = “Please Change”

Wish + would = pointing at someone else’s behavior (or the weather) and saying “fix this.” Not for static facts about yourself.

📝 Regret Split

• -ing = “I did a dumb thing” (looking back)
• to-inf = “I’m sorry to tell you this” (looking at you, delivering news)

🇨🇳 希望 → backshift alarm

Every time you think 希望 for something untrue, your English verb goes one tense backward. No exceptions. 希望我现在更高 → I wish I were taller (NOT “am”).

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Wish & Regret — cheat sheet

Present wish (unreal now): Subject + wish + subject + past simple · were for be (formal)

Past wish (unreal past): Subject + wish + subject + had + V3

Complaint / change wish: Subject + wish + subject + would + base verb

If only: same formulas, more dramatic

Regret (past action): regret + -ing Regret (formal announcement): regret + to-infinitive

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Try this right now

Think of one thing about your life right now that you wish were different. Write it:

I wish I __________.

Now think of one past decision you regret:

I wish I had __________.

Say them out loud. If they feel like a diary entry or a late-night text to a friend, you’ve got the vibe.

Related pages:

• Mixed Conditionals — same backshift logic, different frame
• Conditionals — second and third conditionals share the tense patterns
• The Tense System — understanding backshift requires the tense grid
• Mandarin Speaker Guide — hope vs. wish across languages